If my hair looked like this every day, I wouldn’t even consider cutting it.
Me (jokingly whining): Give me a massage! It's my day off, I deserve to be pampered!
Boyfriend: ...you want me to buy you some diapers?
Hell isn’t so dreadful, not compared to Ecology Camp, and especially not compared to junior high school. Call me jaded, but not much compares to having your legs waxed or getting your navel piercing done at a mall kiosk. Or bulimia. Not that I’m a totally eating-disordered Miss Slutty von Slutski
“
| — | Chuck Palahniuk, Damned |
Confession:
I watched my boyfriend shave today for the first time ever (I think?). The faces he was making in the mirror as he was striving to make things perfect were fucking sexy. I wanted to pounce on him right then and there. Instead, we got in the shower together to get ready to go out. I kneeled down to pick up the scrubby when I dropped it, and when I stood up, I hit my ass on the faucet. Hard. So hard, in fact, the the whole faucet moved out of place. I have a perfectly square shaped welt and a small cut like an inch above my tailbone. Neither of us could stop cracking up (although I had tears in my eyes). Pretty sure that is gonna leave a big bruise tomorrow…
